Obedience is scary
Sometimes God gives us a timeout or rather benches us so He can prepare us for what’s next.
That is what He has done for me and while I want to share every single detail of my story, or rather testimony I cant…I dont have time and I am sure neither do you! :) I am mom of 2 teen boys and dont have much time for fluff these days…AND motherhood is part of what led me to this cry out to God.
Moms’ of teens you can relate I am sure…about a year ago I was feeling overwhelmed and tired ALL THE TIME. I felt guilt because I knew there was so much goodness in my life yet the question in my gut was “this is it?!” I wondered if I just needed to suck it up because this is what life will be like until they are both 18. I was so exhausted, physically, mentally & emotionally.
I began praying to God “Ok Lord, forgive me for my thoughts of “Is this it? Really!?” All this rush & go, go, go to feel overwhelmed and unfulfilled? “I prayed if I need to make a change I will Lord!” I told Him I would lay down whatever He wanted me to BUT vowed that if this is the fulfilled life He has for me then I will pull up my big girl pants & keep-a-going! No literally I would pray this often.
My prayer started in the fall of 2021. I had been feeling weary prior to that but I guess I came to a place where my tank was running on E. At the time I was doing wellness coaching online, teaching some fitness classes in person, had a few personal training clients, taught the CEO class each morning to local HS students, and then had all the mom/wife duties. I was busy and loved all of it but also felt a sense of there’s got to be more.
It wasn’t until April of 2022 that I heard the Lord loudly say “lay down your online wellness coaching business.” While this was hard for me in the sense that I feel this is my gifting and it is truly my favorite (beside being mom of course) job, the instruction was very clear and I had peace that it was what I needed to do. Over the course of the next 2 months I handed off all my clients and waited for God to tell me what was next. I am not a good “sit on the sidelines” or naturally a rest person so I truly anticipated something to come rather quick. I kept praying “Ok God I am ready what do you want me to do? Create an online program for women, write more, start teaching in person again, you name it, I will do it. I am ready, lets go!”
I was still very busy with the boys sports, practices, social lives. I was teaching the HS CEO program each morning and in all honesty I was taking care of myself again for the first time since 2019. I started feeling healthier, happier & like a weight had been lifted on my shoulders…that was until late September when God placed the “whats next” in my lap & I had to wrestle with obedience.
Man oh man, this what not what I thought God would have me do…here’s how God revealed it to me…
I was minding my own business, drinking my coffee and working on my lesson plans in the Mosaic Cafe of my church. I go there on occasionally to work for a change of scenery. As I am working one of the pastors of our church comes walking through & says “Hey Melanie! Funny to see you here because last night your name came up at a meeting & I was thinking of reaching out.” This is our most energetic of our pastors and before I can say much else he is asking me to go Kenya in June with the church to be a part of a medical mission trip where they really desire to have someone come to discuss nutrition and wellness to the women & children. He literally asked me all of this with the same sort of way you would ask someone “hey want to go grab a cup of coffee?”
I will spare you all the convo details and just jump to the part where I ended up leaving the cafe because I could no longer concentrate. I almost felt like I could throw up or was having a panic attack. I literally had prayed that morning to God “ok Lord, why did you give me these gifts of health & wellness and now I am not even using them?! Show me how you want me to use these to serve your kingdom.” No lies…I prayed this that morning & wrote it in my journal.
For some this may not be a big deal…for me it rocked my world.
I have never left my kids for more than 3, maybe 4 days. I am not a big traveler (except for Mexico & the DR). I have always said one day I want to go to Africa or on a mission trip but included NOT a medical mission trip because I dont like blood & things like that. Also, June is like the busiest time of year for us because boys are out of school & play travel baseball. This whole idea didnt seem possible or make sense.
It took me 3 weeks to wrap my head around this. I prayed that God would continue to affirm this if it was from Him…and He continued to give me little signs that said GO. I even prayed “Ok God I will go…BUT if you wanted to see if I would be obedient & agree to go as a TEST ONLY…I am good with that and dont really have to go.” Ha! I really did pray this! I spent hours praying talking with friends who have gone before, calling people who are on team to learn more, looking up Kenya and learning about the culture, talking to my kids & husband making sure they were ok with it, crying, and more praying…and after weeks of wrestling with God about this I said yes.
One of my prayers (and if you have read this far - thank you! its so hard to condense all the goodness that came through this process) was that if this was from God, Matt, my husband would bless it. Just a note about Matt…he’s super frugal, is NOT a traveler at all and signing up his wife to be gone for 2 weeks in the midst of our busiest season & his busiest work season…this a big deal.
Well, during this time I called one of the gals going on the trip and I asked her how my name got brought up. She told me that it was my husband that got the ball rolling on this. WAIT, WHAT?! My eyes immediately filled with tears. She went on to say that last June Matt was at one of the gals’ houses who is also going on the trip. Matt was there to do a bid for some work they wanted done on their house & while he was there he & the customer were chatting and the customer casually said “my wife isn’t here, she’s on a mission trip in Kenya.” My husband replied “wow, my wife has always wanted to do that” - casual statements & end of that conversation. Fast forward to September when the missions team decided that they wanted to add a wellness expert to the team…the wife of this customer said “hey last summer Matt Brown was at our house & mentioned his wife Melanie would like to go sometime, she’s a wellness coach…lets ask her!”
OK God, I hear you loud and clear. He just affirmed that I am going to Kenya on this medical mission trip.
Here is what I learned…God sat me on the sidelines to take care of me from June to September so I would be healthy and clear minded enough to hear & see His calling.
I am going to Kenya in June with an amazing team of medical & non-medical people. I will admit it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions but this week I felt excitement & peace for the first time! He is using me & my gifts to go and serve in a different way then I had planned or even imagined…His ways are always better than our ways.
My request to you is that you will begin to pray for me & our team. Our journey has already begun as we prepare our minds, hearts, and the supplies we will need. Our travels begin June 14.
We are in need of some supplies and would love your help. First of all we would like to take prenatal vitamins, multi-vitamins, childrens vitamins (no gummies) as we talk to them about nutrition & overall health. There is also a need for eye care so we are asking for donations of sunglasses, reading glasses and safety goggles. We have ideas & additional supplies we need & have created an Amazon wish list to make it easier to purchase or donate. You can have them shipped directly to our church or we can connect and I will get them from you. https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1AVM0AB9PBRC9?ref_=wl_share
If you feel the nudge to offer financial support (these gifts are tax deductible) send checks made to: First Christian Church, 3350 N MacArthur Rd, Decatur, IL 62526 in the memo indicate funding to go to the Kenya Mission Trip/Melanie Brown. The cost of the trip approximately $2500/person and there are 21 of us going.
Thank you for reading this, for your prayers and any way you can support our team. My parting words that I want to leave you with…He hears your prayers AND answers them; Obedience is scary but God is good!
Peace, Love & Prayers,
Melanie
